Selfless or Selfish Living?

 



His Word: I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.    Romans 15:13 (NLT)
Observation & Obedience: Throughout chapter 15, Paul is in sorts conducting relationship counseling with the Roman believers. The Roman church was a diverse community. It was made up of Jews and Gentiles, slaves and free people, rich and poor, strong and weak. And like our churches today, we sometimes have difficulty encouraging, getting along with and accepting one another. 

Paul leads up to our verse for today by giving the Romans advice to follow in order to have God’s hope, joy and peace.  I think we can learn from his teachings and apply them to our own relationships.

1) We must not just please ourselves. We should help others do what is right and build them up in the Lord (vs. 1b-2).  Selfish living and ambition have no place or positive outcome in our relationships. This type of mindset can only hurt and damage the good that God wants to do for others, through us. For even Christ didn’t live to please himself (v. 3a).

2) And the Scriptures give us hope and encouragement… May God, who gives this patience and encouragement, help you live in complete harmony with each other (vs. 4b-5a). If our focus is on building others up and not ourselves, we are more apt to recognize the hope, encouragement and patience that come from God. This can make living in harmony with others possible and pleasing to him.

3) Therefore, accept each other just as Christ has accepted you so that God will be given glory (v.7).  Accepting others can be a challenge. We tend to gravitate to people who are like us. Those who look, speak, dress, live and worship like us. The danger in this is that we start to think of ourselves more highly than we should (Romans 12:3) and God does not receive the glory in our relationships, we do.
 
God is the source of our hope, joy and peace. And when we trust him with our relationships, we will overflow with confident hope. Where does this hope come from?

The Holy Spirit is the one who helps us to live unselfishly. He’s the one who directs us to those who need our guidance and encouragement. 

It’s the Holy Spirit’s power that makes it possible to live in complete harmony with each other. I think we would all agree that it’s not in our own power to make this happen! 

One of the Holy Spirit’s most difficult challenges is to get us to see the importance of accepting others. By acknowledging that there are differences in people, and that doesn’t necessarily make either one of us better than the other. When we set these differences aside and see people for who they are, not for what they are not, God is blessed and glorified. 

How are your relationships? Do you struggle with selfishness? Do you lack patience with others who don’t agree with you? Do you have a hard time accepting people who are not like you? Remember our key verse from today. God will fill us and our lives with hope, joy and peace when we turn our relationships over to him and trust him completely with them.

Prayer:  “Dear God, I am sorry for the relationships I have tried to control. I can think of many where I was only concerned with my own selfish desires. I want to live in harmony with those you’ve put in my life. Give me the patience and power I need to do this, even when I don’t feel like it!   I choose to build up, share hope and encouragement with and accept others, just as Christ has accepted me and my differences. I trust you with all the relationships in my life. Amen.” 
Encouragement: God never commanded you to trust people; God commanded you to love people and trust him. Know the difference. Your joy and victory depend on it. 

Affirmed or Afraid?

His Word: Moses said to the LORD, “You have been telling me, ‘Lead these people,’ but you have not let me know whom you will send with me. You have said, ‘I know you by name and you have found favor with me.’ If you are pleased with me, teach me your ways so I may know you and continue to find favor with you. Remember that this nation is your people.” The LORD replied, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”    Exodus 33: 12-14

Observation & Obedience: In His Word for today, Moses and God had just had another “face to face” conversation - The LORD would speak to Moses face to face, as one speaks to a friend (v.11).

Moses was confirming what He had heard from God : Lead these people, I know you by name, you have found favor with me. But even after all these affirmations, Moses was still expecting God to give him someone to go with him into the Promised Land. Another human he could count on for support and strength. Someone who could take over for him when he needed a break from dealing with these challenging and complaining Israelites.

When God is telling you something He wants/expects you to do, are you apt to be like Moses and ask for someone to go with you? Are you not sure if you can do all that He’s asking of you by yourself? Is the thought of a human companion more comforting and confidence building?

What did Moses ask God to do and why? Is this a common request of yours when you’re unsure and insecure?

Moses even “reminds” God who He has put him in charge of – your (chosen) people. Maybe Moses was thinking God would provide him with a much stronger leader than he was. Someone who was a better communicator. Someone the people would respect more and want to follow.

The Lord responds with a simple promise to Moses. “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”

God would be his companion. God would provide direction and decision making skills. God would give him the rest he needed. God would be all Moses needed in order to fulfill His commands.

Prayer: “Dear God, there are many days when I act like Your Presence is not enough. When I think that I need someone else to come along side me to give me direction, strength and support. Yes, you have provided people in my life who do that, but they should not be the ones I depend on for everything. Only You can be that. Only You can be with me everywhere and at all times. Today I choose to cling to this promise of Your permanent Presence and Peace and believe it is all I need. Amen.”

Encouragement: A God wise enough to create me and the world I live in is wise enough to watch out for me.   Philip Yancey

* Share with us a time you depended on God’s Presence and rest to be all you needed….

Secure or Shaken?

His Word: Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure, because you will not abandon me…  Psalm 16: 9-10a

Observation & Obedience:  What person doesn’t want a glad heart, a tongue that rejoices and a body that rests secure? The author, David, had found the secret to joy. True joy is far deeper than happiness. Happiness is temporary because it is based on external circumstances. But joy like David experienced is lasting because of God’s presence within us.

David’s focus for his hope was based on God’s presence being permanent in his life, regardless of what was going on around him. We too can have the same benefits. If we read a few verses before our key verse, we’ll see what David did in order to find such joy, rest and security.

Psalm 16:7 – I will praise the LORD, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. David made it a habit to praise God – day and night; even when he was being counseled and instructed by God. How often do we praise Him when He is correcting and changing our well laid out plans?

Psalm 16:8a - I keep my eyes always on the LORD. Where was David’s focus? On himself? On his enemies? On his women and wealth? On his title and prestige? His focus was always on the Lord.  Did that make him perfect? No, but he recognized that he always needed to have God before him – guiding and directing him.

Psalm 16:8b – With him (God) at my right hand, I will not be shaken.  David knew that with God by his side, he had no reason to fear and doubt. Like David, we still must live in a sinful world and experience the day to day circumstances of life. But for those who praise God, seek His counsel and instruction, keep their focus on Him, they can have the security in knowing they’re doing what is right and important in God’s eyes.

So that leads us to David’s proclamation in verse 9-10a. His heart is glad, his tongue rejoices and his body rests secure. Are you experiencing the same benefits in your life? Maybe you need to choose to adopt David’s actions. You can start today:

1) List 2-5 things/people/lessons you can praise God for that He has used to counsel and instruct you.

2) Examine where your focus is? Are your eyes always on the Lord following His guidance or are they wandering around looking for other ways to find joy, peace and rest? How are these things/people working for you?

3) Do you truly believe that God is always before/with you? Or do you sometimes wonder if He’s too busy with other things to pay attention to your needs? This may sound foolish, but how many of us have thought this at one time or another? Think of a time God showed up in a big way in your life. Write Him a thank you note...

Prayer: “Dear God, forgive me for the times I’ve been upset with You for correcting me and instructing me to do something I may not have agreed with. Help me to always keep my eyes and focus on You because You are always before and with me.  I don’t need to fear because you will fill me with joy in your presence and with eternal pleasures (Psalm 16:11).  Today I choose to live with a glad heart, a tongue that rejoices and a body that rests secure. Amen.”

Encouragement: Jesus did not promise to change the circumstances around us. He promised great peace and pure joy to those who would learn to believe that God actually controls all things.     Corrie ten Boom (Holocaust Survivor)

What a Crisis Reveals...

What a Crisis Reveals
A crisis is defined as a “turning point; a crucial situation.” Being diagnosed with Stage 4 Breast Cancer last year constituted a crisis in my life! Not having any family history of the disease, it caught me off guard. It was an interruption to my well laid out plans for the year; my life.  It lead me into unknown territory.  But through it all, I came out enlightened; with strengthened faith in God, others and myself.

I came across a quote by Oswald Chambers that summarized my crisis experience.  He says, It’s not the crisis that builds something within us – it simply reveals what we are made of already. I considered myself someone who was able to withstand a challenge – but often times in my own strength. One of the many things you lose during cancer treatment is your strength.  It was during this time of physical and emotional weakness that what I was made of was revealed.  I was reminded of three important facts:

 

God’s Promises are Personal
I love the Psalms; they seem so personal to their authors. But I never personalized them for myself until I needed to cling to hope. In times of crisis, you need to claim these verses as truth. One of my favorite promises is from Psalm 46:1-3:

God is our (my) refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we (I) will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.

 

God’s Presence is Permanent
I know that God is always with me; watching over me; protecting me. But that knowledge was revealed to me during my time of greatest weakness. I knew I was never alone, even though I was in physical pain. God was by my side going through it with me – not necessarily taking it away. 2 Timothy 4:17a is a great reminder of this truth:

But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength…

 

God’s Peace is Perfect
I’ll be honest, at times this was the hardest truth to believe. A crisis stirs up many emotions, and if dwelt on, can actually intensify the side effects. Worry, anxiety, “what if?” “why me?” doubts, fears, etc. We cannot create peace within ourselves – it’s just not natural. Only God’s peace is perfect and that’s what we must dwell on. Isaiah 26:3 reminds us of this:

You (God) will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.

What did my cancer crisis reveal to me? It showed me what I was made of. It revealed that my faith was stronger than I thought. It confirmed that I can’t do much in my own strength and peace can only come from God.

Whether your crisis is/ will be physical, financial, spiritual or personal – allow it to be a turning point. Turning you to God’s personal promises, permanent presence and perfect peace.

Finally....An Answer to "What's Next?"

It's been a year since I was diagnosed with Stage 4 Breast Cancer and began nine months of chemo and radiation treatments. In the months since my last radiation, I, along with many well-meaning friends/family have asked, "So what's next for you?"  At times, this was very upsetting because I didn't have an answer. God was not showing me (in BOLD print) what He wanted me to do with my experience. Knowing patience is not one of my more dominant virtues, He decided it was time to develop that even more!

It was through this time of "character development", that it became more clear on the direction He wanted me to go - actually a continuation of what I've been trying to do for years - encourage other women. My cousin, Sharon, had also been diagnosed with breast cancer in 2013 and was struggling with the same questions. She has a great talent for capturing God's creation through photography. (Sharon Surman Photography) We both felt God leading us to do something together that would help other women in cancer treatment feel loved, supported and encouraged.

That's when the idea for Prayer Postcards started. Using our gifts and talents, we've put together a set of 6 cards using her beautiful photos and my attempt of writing personal prayers. These words reflect the many feelings I went through during treatment - fear, anxiety, discouragement, loneliness, etc. and includes scripture verses, space for a hand-written note and address.  Our goal is to get these into the hands of as many women as possible to give them the much needed hope and encouragement during a dark and difficult time.

If you personally know of someone going through a time of trial or your church has a card ministry, please consider ordering a set ($10 for 6). You may get them for yourself to send individually or we will mail the set directly, along with a personal note from you, to your someone special!

10% of every order goes to the Breast Cancer Research Foundation!

To see more of our story, read the personal prayers and to order, click HERE!  We appreciate your support more than you'll ever realize.  Tonia and Sharon :)

What Season Are You In?

According to the calendar, we are entering into the summer season - a season many of us thought would never come after such a loonnnggg and cold winter! But what about the season of your life? I have recently realized that I am entering a new season. What once was, is no more. Do I know what this season will include? No. But it is here none the less.

I am a huge fan of life coach, Valorie Burton. Her writings encourage me and I want to share her recent blog on this very subject. I hope you will be blessed by her words as well.  Tonia

Dear Friends,

 

You and I probably both agree that wearing a wool coat in July or shorts and flip flops in a snow storm would be downright silly. Folks might even question the state of your mental health for that kind of behavior. But something odd seems to happen when we are impatient. Learning to relax in the current season, while still preparing for the next season, takes trust, patience and wisdom. If the season you're in professionally is about learning and growing so that you can build a foundation for the future, don't miss this rich season being frustrated that the future isn't here yet. If you do, you'll miss the abundant lessons being offered and you may even miss the opportunities that will unfold after you learn those lessons. If this is the season for you to work hard and play hard because you're blessed to have the time to do it, don't sit back, relax and take it easy. Missing this season could mean you're totally unprepared when the next season comes.

 

Know your season. Dress for it. Embrace it. It can save you a great deal of anxiety and frustration. Why do we often insist on a season other than the one we are in, pushing to get out of it, and on with the next thing? It is often because we don't trust the process. We think God must not be clued in to our lives and we need to help Him along. We don't value that progress is a process - and it's not always a quick, convenient process either. But when you really trust that God has you in the palm of His hand, you can relax even in the stormiest of seasons. You know it's temporary. Seasons always are. Some are longer than others, but eventually seasons change.

 

In what way are you dressed for a season other than the one you're in? In what way are you insisting things be different in order for you to happy? In what way are you showing up in a wool coat in the heat of summer? It might not be the season for you to spend much. This season may be about saving and self-control. This may not be the season for a relationship. Perhaps God is calling you to heal and be still in His presence before you jump into another romance. I don't know what this message means for your life, but you do. Embrace your season. Each one has a purpose. Each one is to be celebrated for its own reasons. Refuse to judge your season. Simply be determined to glean the lesson from it.

 

Valorie

What's Next?

Good Afternoon,

I know it's been awhile since I've communicated with many of you and wanted to give you an update. I finished chemo in January, had my liver ablation in February and finished 33 rounds of radiation in April. My husband and I just returned from a sunny and relaxing trip to FL - just what we needed after such a loonnnggg and coolllddd MI winter!

I started the anti-hormone pill this week and will be on this for the next 5 years. I have a follow-up CT on my liver next week (5/9) to make sure the tumor has been taken care of with the ablation. Then a mammogram in June - marking the one year anniversary of this adventure. I want to thank you again for all your prayers and words of encouragement. It has meant so much to me and my family.

So what's next for me? That seems to be the question most asked of me these days! I wish I knew :) I do not have another book in the works. I don't have any speaking engagements scheduled. I'm not teaching any classes or studies. To be honest with you, I don't have much desire to do what I was doing a year ago.

Is that a bad thing? I go back and forth with that, but I do believe God has something planned.....I just don't know what it looks like right now. I hear my own words in my head saying that "God never wastes a hurt or painful experience." "The things we go through prepare us to better help and relate to others".....etc.

As God knows how much I am struggling with what's next, He sent a message to me this morning via the Blueprint for Life blog entitled Stuck In-Between. I've provided the link for you to read and/or pass on to someone who needs an encouraging word.

 So...when I move from this stuck place, you'll be the second to know. So until then, enjoy today!

Tonia