Monday, February 18, 2013
4 Common Habits That Keep You Stuck!
Guest blog by life coach, Valorie Burton. Check out her website to learn more about her and her ministry.
4 Common Habits That Keep You Stuck!
Dear Friend,
The irony is, I got stuck trying to write this column about getting unstuck. Then I looked at my five-point outline and realized I was engaging in habit #4: Perfectionism. The tape playing in my head yelled as I stared at the blank screen: "You can't start typing words until you figured out exactly how to say what you want to say!" Then I remembered the mantra that gets me writing: "You have permission to write badly. You can edit later."
Getting unstuck is the most common issue around which I've coached others. Whether they are stuck trying to figure out how to have a difficult conversation, making a life-changing decision, or just can't figure out why they are paralyzed, getting unstuck can be challenging. To move towards their dream, there are four common habits I've observed. Next time you're stuck (and maybe you feel stuck right now!), do a quick reality check. Are you guilty of one of these bad habits? If so, take action. Here are the four habits and how to break them:
Habit #1: Obsession with your obstacles.
People who get stuck tend to stare at the problem right in front of them and forget to look up at the big picture of where they really want to go. The solution? Stop focusing on the problem, and start focusing on the solution. Don't just notice what's wrong. Begin magnifying what's right. And ask yourself, how can I use what's right to overcome what's wrong? Use your strengths.
Habit #2: Sabotaging Self-Talk.
The conversation of stuckness goes something like this: "I'm stuck." "I can't." "I'll never." You create what you speak. "Life and death are in the power of the tongue," Proverbs 29:18 promises this.What have you been saying about you? Replace losing language with winning words: "I can do something different." "I will take a step forward despite my fear." "I am capable of change."
Habit #3: Over-planning.
Folks who are stuck can look quite productive - with all their plans and strategies. Beware. Plans are great. Action is greater. Books don't write themselves. Businesses don't launch themselves. You've got to take the first step and keep stepping!
Habit #4: Perfectionism.
If you buy into the lie that nothing is worth doing if it's not perfect, getting stuck is guaranteed. Perfectionism is a lot of pressure. It's a set up for failure. If the only passing grade is 100%, no wonder you dread the outcome. The simple solution? Give yourself permission to be imperfect. In other words, be human. Then you'll try new things, put yourself out there, and not beat yourself up for looking silly. Find joy in the experience.
My challenge to you: Get unstuck. Drop your bad habits.
Journaling assignment:
In what area(s) of your life are you feeling stuck right now? Which of the four habits is keeping you stuck? What will you do differently right now to break that habit and get unstuck?
Monday, February 4, 2013
What Makes You Move?
Last month, we looked at what it was going to take to start making changes in your life? I hope many of you have been successful in taking small steps toward great accomplishments!
This month, I want us to consider the question - What makes you move? In other words, what causes you to get up every day and do what you do? As I've been teaching each week from The Purpose Driven Life, (it's not too late to join our online study! Lessons and audio links are available to download), we've been taking a close look at what our lives are driven by. Some people are driven by guilt from their past or anger and resentment from hurts. Some live in self-imposed prisons of fear, while others move because of their desire to acquire more. Sadly, many are driven by the need for approval from others.
It's this need to please people that gets us in trouble. Our purpose is to please God, not people! Is this something you struggle with? Is the opinions of others what drives you and motivates you to move? Is your "purpose" found in what others think and say about you? If so, think about these 5 facts.....
5 Facts: 1) You were created by God and for God. His opinion is all that matters. 2) God was thinking about and planning your life long before you were thinking about Him (Psalm 139: 13,16). 3) Real security can only be found in that which can never be taken away from you - your relationship with God. 4) Living a purpose-driven (not guilt, anger, fear, materialism or others' approval driven) life is the path to peace. 5) Without purpose, life is motion without meaning, activity without direction, and events without reason.
SHARE: Do any of these facts motivate you to live a life of purpose and peace instead of pleasing and performance? I hope you'll take some time to think about what the motives of your heart are. Share your thoughts with us - we want to be an encouragement to you and others!
Do You Know What Makes You SPECIAL? I'm excited about this new workshop! If you live in the Waterford, MI area, you're invited to join me on Monday, February 18 at Faith Church | 3411 Airport Rd at 6:30p. Space is limited, so please let me know if you're coming. Friends are welcome - just let me know how many you'll be bringing! To learn more about this workshop, visit the SPECIAL page on our website. I am available and would love to come share this life-changing event with the women of your ministry/church!
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