What Season Are You In?

According to the calendar, we are entering into the summer season - a season many of us thought would never come after such a loonnnggg and cold winter! But what about the season of your life? I have recently realized that I am entering a new season. What once was, is no more. Do I know what this season will include? No. But it is here none the less.

I am a huge fan of life coach, Valorie Burton. Her writings encourage me and I want to share her recent blog on this very subject. I hope you will be blessed by her words as well.  Tonia

Dear Friends,

 

You and I probably both agree that wearing a wool coat in July or shorts and flip flops in a snow storm would be downright silly. Folks might even question the state of your mental health for that kind of behavior. But something odd seems to happen when we are impatient. Learning to relax in the current season, while still preparing for the next season, takes trust, patience and wisdom. If the season you're in professionally is about learning and growing so that you can build a foundation for the future, don't miss this rich season being frustrated that the future isn't here yet. If you do, you'll miss the abundant lessons being offered and you may even miss the opportunities that will unfold after you learn those lessons. If this is the season for you to work hard and play hard because you're blessed to have the time to do it, don't sit back, relax and take it easy. Missing this season could mean you're totally unprepared when the next season comes.

 

Know your season. Dress for it. Embrace it. It can save you a great deal of anxiety and frustration. Why do we often insist on a season other than the one we are in, pushing to get out of it, and on with the next thing? It is often because we don't trust the process. We think God must not be clued in to our lives and we need to help Him along. We don't value that progress is a process - and it's not always a quick, convenient process either. But when you really trust that God has you in the palm of His hand, you can relax even in the stormiest of seasons. You know it's temporary. Seasons always are. Some are longer than others, but eventually seasons change.

 

In what way are you dressed for a season other than the one you're in? In what way are you insisting things be different in order for you to happy? In what way are you showing up in a wool coat in the heat of summer? It might not be the season for you to spend much. This season may be about saving and self-control. This may not be the season for a relationship. Perhaps God is calling you to heal and be still in His presence before you jump into another romance. I don't know what this message means for your life, but you do. Embrace your season. Each one has a purpose. Each one is to be celebrated for its own reasons. Refuse to judge your season. Simply be determined to glean the lesson from it.

 

Valorie

What's Next?

Good Afternoon,

I know it's been awhile since I've communicated with many of you and wanted to give you an update. I finished chemo in January, had my liver ablation in February and finished 33 rounds of radiation in April. My husband and I just returned from a sunny and relaxing trip to FL - just what we needed after such a loonnnggg and coolllddd MI winter!

I started the anti-hormone pill this week and will be on this for the next 5 years. I have a follow-up CT on my liver next week (5/9) to make sure the tumor has been taken care of with the ablation. Then a mammogram in June - marking the one year anniversary of this adventure. I want to thank you again for all your prayers and words of encouragement. It has meant so much to me and my family.

So what's next for me? That seems to be the question most asked of me these days! I wish I knew :) I do not have another book in the works. I don't have any speaking engagements scheduled. I'm not teaching any classes or studies. To be honest with you, I don't have much desire to do what I was doing a year ago.

Is that a bad thing? I go back and forth with that, but I do believe God has something planned.....I just don't know what it looks like right now. I hear my own words in my head saying that "God never wastes a hurt or painful experience." "The things we go through prepare us to better help and relate to others".....etc.

As God knows how much I am struggling with what's next, He sent a message to me this morning via the Blueprint for Life blog entitled Stuck In-Between. I've provided the link for you to read and/or pass on to someone who needs an encouraging word.

 So...when I move from this stuck place, you'll be the second to know. So until then, enjoy today!

Tonia

Do Not Be Afraid!

I hope your New Year is off to a great start! We recently returned from our vacation in Hawaii : ) It was a relaxing and fun time with our family....Not so much fun returning to our MI winter though!

I want to thank you again for all your prayers and support and give you the latest update. I finished chemo on Jan 2 and have been slowly regaining my strength, appetite :( and even some hair!

On Monday, Feb. 17, I will have the procedure done on  the tumor on my liver. (It's called cryoablation for those who may want to research it! ) They basically freeze and kill the cancer cells so that they can no longer grow and spread. 

I will begin radiation on Weds. Feb 19 - 5 days a week for 6 weeks. The main side effect of this is more fatigue..but I'm pretty much adjusted to this by now! I still plan most of my errands and activities in the morning so I can be home when I crash @3pm!

My word for the year is Courage and one of my favorite verses is Joshua 1:9 - "Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

Take Care - Tonia

What Do I Have to Be Grateful For?

It's that time of year when we stop and think about all the things we're grateful for. In fact, I'd invite you to join me for my Alphabet Gratitude challenge on my Facebook page. It's been so much fun and an encouragement to read every one's comments on the things they are thankful for this month.

People often asked me if I have a favorite verse, passage of Scripture, etc. that has helped me over the past few months. I must say I don't have anything specific, but I do find myself reading Psalm 103 repeatedly. I'd encourage you to take a minute today and read all 22 verses here!

Verse 2 tells us not forget the good things God has done for us. You won't get very far before you'll realize just how much you have to be grateful for. Here's just a few things I have to be grateful for:

v. 3-4 | He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases. He redeems me from death and crowns me with love and tender mercies.

v. 5-6 | He fills my life with good things. My youth is renewed like the eagle’s! The LORD gives righteousness and justice to all who are treated unfairly.

v. 8-10 | The LORD is compassionate and merciful, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love. He will not constantly accuse us, nor remain angry forever. He does not punish us for all our sins; he does not deal harshly with us, as we deserve.

v. 12-14 | He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west. The LORD is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him. For he knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust.

v. 22 | Praise the LORD, everything he has created, everything in all his kingdom. Let all that I am praise the LORD.

We all have a lot to be grateful for! Some days it may take a little extra effort to see the things - great and small - but they are there. Maybe they've been camouflaged by comparisons, buried by burdens or over-looked by eyes that are focused on what we don't have, etc.

If you struggle with finding something to be grateful for - pick one or two benefits from Psalm 103 and thank God today. You'll find that once you get started, your list will start to quickly grow!

UPDATE: I apologize for not posting something sooner. It's because I've had so much energy the past few weeks, I've been working on projects around the house that I was not able to do earlier. This chemo drug, Taxol, has been much kinder to me and my body. I am not nauseous like before and have regained my appetite for the most part (not necessarily a good thing!)

I would ask for prayer as I am pretty wiped out by early evening and have not been sleeping well. I've experienced a lot of heartburn during the night :( This is just another side effect I have to adjust to for now. My last chemo is scheduled for the first week of January, 2014. At that time the spot of my liver will be evaluated to see if it can be removed by surgery before I start radiation. 

As I've said before, I am SO grateful for all your thoughts / prayers, meals, gifts, cards and kind words.

Tonia

When my husband and I attended our Chemo Class before I started treatments, we were told all the negative side effects that I would more than likely experience – mainly hair loss, fatigue and nausea.  As most of you know by now, I have indeed experienced all these and more.

But I have come to realize there are some benefits to this chemo journey. As I wrote last time, over the past 3 months, I have experienced a greater appreciation for others’ kindness, an acceptance of what I can and cannot do these days and an eye-opening awareness of God’s continual peace and constant presence.

Lack of Hair - Hair loss is a time saver. I don’t have to fool with fixing my hair every day – throw on a hat and I’m good to go! It also means no more shaving my under arms and legs. I still have my eyebrows but it also means no more plucking! I don’t know if I’ll be all that excited when it starts growing back!

Lack of Energy - For those who know me, know that I love naps! Because fatigue is a side effect, it can be used as a benefit because now I can nap whenever, wherever and how ever long I want and not feel guilty! It took some time to adjust to this, but now that I have, “a day without a nap is crap!”

Lack of Appetite - I’m not recommending chemo as a weight loss tool, but between lack of appetite from the nausea, dead taste buds and irritating mouth sores, I have managed to lose a few pounds.  I’m still working on stopping myself from eating empty calories that I can’t taste anyway,

I know these things sound silly – but I’ve learned that every situation and circumstance has two sides of looking at it. My family will often refer to me as a Debbie Downer or Negative Nancy - and yes, the glass is always half empty! These days I’m trying to see things from both angles and look for the benefits amidst the bad days. But for me seeing the positive takes extra effort – can you relate?

 I love this verse from Isaiah 43: 19: For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.  What new thing is God doing in your life that He wants you to see?  Don’t let the negative side effects of your situation or circumstances blind you from the pathways and rivers God wants to create in your wilderness/wasteland.

UPDATE:  My last round of the AC chemical was not nearly as bad as round 3 was - mostly just a lot of fatigue.  I start 12 weekly treatments of a new drug this Thursday, 10/17 and have been assured that the side effects will be less severe.   Tonia

 

No Pain...No Gain!

No pain...no gain. No battle..no victory. No contest...no winner. No challenge...no growth. None of these situations makes us feel comfortable, but without them our lives stay stagnant. We stay weak and self-centered. We moan and groan about our problems, and never learn the lessons they are meant to teach us.

Through this cancer journey, I have not experienced a lot of physical pain, mostly mental and emotional - but through it I have gained a whole lot more than an occasional down day. I have gained a new appreciation, acceptance and awareness of many things:

Appreciation...
There aren’t enough words to express our gratitude to all the people we know, and don’t know, who are praying for and supporting our family. It has been overwhelming to me to hear from people I haven’t seen or spoken to in years. Friends I went to high school with 30+ years ago have contacted me and shared their own stories of battles and victories. Friends from college,former churches and schools have reached out. Facebook “friends” I have never met are a daily encouragement. The dear women from our church who have delivered meals on days when cooking is the last thing I want to do and those who gathered together to pray and make a beautiful fleece shawl for me. Those who have used their gifts and talents to make me thoughtful gifts as reminders of their love. Then there are those friends and family who are raising money to run/walk in events this month in my honor. And of course the friends/family I’ve had throughout my life are a constant source of strength! The list is endless. I appreciate you ALL!!

I thank my God every time I remember you. - Philippians 1:3

Acceptance...
Not quite as easy as appreciation but just as important. I’ve come to accept that “for such a time as this” I can’t do all that I was used to doing. My physical strength comes and goes – so I have to plan my activities based on my chemo schedule. Like I tell people, when I feel bad, I feel bad BUT when I feel good, watch out! I’m not able to serve the women of my church as I have in the past BUT I know there is an awesome team that has stepped up to take my place. I’ve gained a new perspective of a verse I never wanted to obey until I was forced to:

Be still, and know that I am God... - Psalm 40:10a

Awareness...
Of course the biggest gain is the awareness of God’s continual peace and constant presence. There are times when I have to remind myself of this on a daily basis. There are times when I feel like I’m fighting this battle all alone (on those pity-party days!) But I was reminded today in a book a friend gave me, Grace for Each Hour, that “the battle against your cancer does not belong to you; it doesn’t even belong to your doctors. It belongs to God. It may have formed an army against you, but His Son already defeated it for you on the Cross.”

This is what the LORD says to you: ‘Do not be afraid or discouraged because
of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s.’ - 2 Chron. 20:15

Don’t let the pain of your life keep you from gaining.... a new appreciation for the people in your life,an acceptance of the things you cannot change and an awareness of WHO is fighting your battles!!

UPDATE: I enjoyed Chemo #4 yesterday - 10/3. I had quite a rough response to #3 and will be preparing for the same this time. Beginning 10/17, I will start 12 weekly treatments of a less powerful drug and I've been promised the side effects are much milder:)Thanks for your prayers. Tonia

I'm Losing More Than Just My Hair...

The inevitable was happening...my hair was starting to fall out and it was time to go wig shopping. I chose to have my head shaved and it wasn't as traumatic as I thought it would be - it's not like I had long, flowing hair to begin with. My girls had fun trying out my new hair piece! My daughter, Denae (lower right) had 10 inches of her beloved hair donated to women battling cancer :)

So what else have I been losing - maybe even more difficult than my hair?...My pride. I have always known I was a proud person (ouch!). Being self-sufficient and independent were qualities I found others admired in me. Being strong, focused and dependable were virtues I wanted people to see in me. But these are slowly being taken away.

The other day I posted a quote by Max Lucado on Facebook that I didn't really think that closely about until people started commenting on it.

"The circumstances we ask God to change are often the circumstances God is using to change us." 

I know God is using my cancer "circumstances" to change me - in ways I wasn't expecting, but were definitely necessary. One of the biggest areas is that of allowing people to pray for me. I know that must sound so arrogant - who doesn't appreciate prayer? But to a proud person, we sometimes feel we don't really need any extra intervention, we've got it covered - just me and God is enough.

I am finding that I am SO appreciative to those who tell me they are praying for me and my family...some people I don't even know personally. I was told by my doctor that this battle is so much more than physical, it's a mental battle. This is so true and so hard.

As I've said, I want to continue to be an encouragement as you join me in the journey. Maybe there's a circumstance in your life that God is keeping there in order to change you. Don't try to fight it. Accept it as His way of showing His goodness to you and His love for you.

Will you join me in praying with expectation? As some of you know, we recently found that the cancer has spread to my liver which puts me at Stage 4. My chemo treatments have been adjusted and my doctor feels that remission is in the near future. I am having a total body bone scan this Friday, 9/13 at 12 noon to see if the cancer is in my bones - and I must say, I'm feeling a little anxious.

So putting my pride aside, I am asking for your prayers. I am believing that God wants to use this "circumstance" to do more for me, in me and through me. I have been disappointed, but I can't give up on Him. He understands my weaknesses, which is why He treasures my faith so greatly. So today I am praying, waiting and expecting..... Thanks! Tonia

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. (Romans 12:12)