Let It Go!

Do you struggle with unforgiveness? Whether it's forgiving someone who has treated you wrong OR forgiving yourself for some offense you have committed. The subject has come up several times in the past few weeks and I recognize it as a nudge from God to talk about it with you!

Let's address the issue of unforgiveness first. I know some of you have been hurt in ways that would be considered "unforgive-able" by many. You have had things done to you that you had no control over. Regardless of how much time has passed, you are still carrying around a heavy load of guilt and shame. Some of you have been victims of verbal abuse and bare the scars of worthlessness. Some of you have been controlled and manipulated for so long that you feel helpless and have no voice. Others of you have had your hearts shattered so badly that you believe you will never be whole again. Still others may be holding on to the hurt from betrayal, back-stabbing, being blind-sided or back-handed.

How have you been dealing with the pain? Has it been working for you? Hanging on to anger, bitterness, resentment and unforgiveness only hurts you! Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping it will cause the person who hurt you pain. Our bodies were not created to digest this "poison" of unforgiveness. More importantly, our relationship with God cannot be broken because of unforgiveness. In the Lord's Prayer (Matthew 6:12) Jesus instructs us to pray - "forgive us our sins AS we have forgiven those who sin against us." Verses 14-15 are even more direct - "If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins." Consider the way The Message puts it - "You can't get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others. If you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself off from God's part." I don't know about you, but I want and need God to forgive my sins!

Maybe you've been holding on to this pain in private. Maybe no one knows you are harboring anger and unforgiveness against someone. You've been putting on a good show on the outside, but inside the "poison" is eating you alive. The first step to forgiveness is revealing the hurt. You can't get over the hurt until you admit the pain exists. Are you ready to be healed? Are you willing to let it go? Can you admit that your way of dealing with it isn't working? Do you want to be rid of the baggage you've been carrying around all these years? If you answered, YES...there's some work you'll need to do.

Homework: Over the next few days, think about the people you have not forgiven. (One way of knowing is that when you think about them/the situation, it still creates negative emotions in you - anger, resentment, fear, hatred, etc.) Now, 1) write down their name(s) and 2) what they did 3) describe the emotion you feel toward that person and 4) list the impact it had or continues to have on you. Put it in writing. Be specific (as painful as it may be). Be honest (God already knows the details, but He wants you to acknowledge them). Keep it private.

Recommended Reading - How to Forgive...When You Don't Feel Like It by June Hunt

Next time: How to release the offender - forever - and receive healing.