Are You Having Trouble Focusing?

It's mid-March! How have you been doing with evaluating who and what are number one in your life? Today, I want to share another great blog from life-coach, Valorie Burton on 5 Steps to Stop Being Scattered and Start Being Focused:
"Are you all over the place when it comes to the projects and tasks you have to complete? Do you feel scattered at times? Perhaps you have multiple good ideas, but have difficulty implementing them. The ability to focus is one of the most powerful skills you can develop. You will enjoy the benefits of faster results, higher creativity, more leisure time, and a powerful sense of self-discipline.
1. DECIDE WHAT'S MOST IMPORTANT.
Many people get tripped up in reaching their goals because they spend their time on the things that really are not that important. Choose one priority for each of the five key areas of your life - relationships, work, finances, health and spiritual life. Be willing to focus your efforts on just one priority in each area.
2. SET YOUR INTENTION.
To achieve anything, you must commit to it. Embrace your priorities and then orient your life around them. That could mean dropping certain activities or old goals from your to-do list. Setting your intention means being held accountable for it. Sharing it with someone will often deepen your commitment.
3. DON'T BE LURED BY DISTRACTIONS.
There is always something else that "needs" to be done. Once you decide what’s most important, block out set periods of time when you refuse to do anything else but the task at hand. ln order to succeed, you must stop focusing on distractions and start focusing on your true priorities.
4. GET DOWN TO BUSINESS.
It is tempting to allow planning and daydreaming to cloud out the actual work of moving towards a goal. Planning is important, but the plan only becomes reality when you take action! Until you focus on actually doing the steps necessary to accomplish your goals, you will be burdened with the tension of what you should be doing but aren't.
5. ONCE YOU COMPLETE A PROJECT…...
reflect, celebrate, then look to the next step. Go back to step 1 above and ask, "Now that I have focused and accomplished this goal, what is the next step to bring my vision to life?" Decide what's most important, set your intention, block your distractions and get down to business!
CHALLENGE:
Identify the distractions that tend to lure you away from your priorities. Make a decision about how you could handle your distractions at a time other than the time you commit to focus on your true goals." Valorie Burton (April 13, 2008)

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Who's Number One?

As March Madness gets underway, those who are college basketball fans often wonder who will be number one when it's all said and done! Today starts a 3-part series from my workbook, Building a Better Life, Not Just a Busier One! We will begin by asking, Who is Number One in Your Life? Do your words match up with your actions? Do you say you value one thing and then do another? The Bible tells us in Haggai 1:5 to “Give careful thoughts to your ways.” We say we value one thing, but our priorities say another. Our values and priorities are reflected in how we use our resources – time, money, strength and talent. We say God is number one, but then we relegate Him to a lesser number on our “to-do” lists. We say others and our relationships are important to us, but we make no time for them. We say we value our health, but continue to make poor choices. We say we value our own well-being, but do nothing to strengthen our own spiritual, emotional and physical lives.

* Step One to clearing up this confusion about misplaced priorities: EVALUATE

We all have things in our day that must be done. I call these our “everyday essentials”. But what about all the extra stuff we try to cram into our lives? Sometimes we need to step back and evaluate what we are doing and why we are doing it? Is there something you’ve committed to that’s causing tension in your family/relationships? Are you devoting too much time and money doing something you don’t really enjoy, but were pressured into? Are there things you’d like to be involved in, but don’t have any extra time to do?

Ask yourself: “Is my schedule full of temporary or eternal valued activities?” Do the hours I spend watching television, playing video/computer/online games, shopping, talking on the phone/texting, social-networking, etc. have any kind of lasting, positive impact on others? (There are some women who spend so much time doing these things, they don’t have time to meet the needs of their family and unfortunately, that is creating a lasting impact, just not a positive one!)

On the other hand, eternal valued activities don’t have to be major things. It’s simply making sure you’re investing time in and making a lasting, positive impact on the lives of others. It could be by just giving someone your undivided attention (which requires all phones to be turned off!). Showing someone you care by doing something as small as sending a card of encouragement. (Remember these? They're made of paper and involve a hand-written message!)

Challenge: Evaluate who or what is taking the number one spot in your life. Try incorporating an eternal valued activity in your day and see how you feel! Let us know what you did and encourage others.

Until next time, be purpose-full in all you do! ~ Tonia

SPECIAL OFFER - Download the Building a Better Life, Not Just a Busier One! e-workbook for just $5.00 and receive the first chapter of my study, Designed with Your Purpose in Mind Click on the workbook to order.

4 Common Habits That Keep You Stuck!

Guest blog by life coach, Valorie Burton. Check out her website to learn more about her and her ministry.

4 Common Habits That Keep You Stuck!

Dear Friend,

The irony is, I got stuck trying to write this column about getting unstuck. Then I looked at my five-point outline and realized I was engaging in habit #4: Perfectionism. The tape playing in my head yelled as I stared at the blank screen: "You can't start typing words until you figured out exactly how to say what you want to say!" Then I remembered the mantra that gets me writing: "You have permission to write badly. You can edit later."

Getting unstuck is the most common issue around which I've coached others. Whether they are stuck trying to figure out how to have a difficult conversation, making a life-changing decision, or just can't figure out why they are paralyzed, getting unstuck can be challenging. To move towards their dream, there are four common habits I've observed. Next time you're stuck (and maybe you feel stuck right now!), do a quick reality check. Are you guilty of one of these bad habits? If so, take action. Here are the four habits and how to break them:

Habit #1: Obsession with your obstacles.
People who get stuck tend to stare at the problem right in front of them and forget to look up at the big picture of where they really want to go. The solution? Stop focusing on the problem, and start focusing on the solution. Don't just notice what's wrong. Begin magnifying what's right. And ask yourself, how can I use what's right to overcome what's wrong? Use your strengths.

Habit #2: Sabotaging Self-Talk.
The conversation of stuckness goes something like this: "I'm stuck." "I can't." "I'll never." You create what you speak. "Life and death are in the power of the tongue," Proverbs 29:18 promises this.What have you been saying about you? Replace losing language with winning words: "I can do something different." "I will take a step forward despite my fear." "I am capable of change."

Habit #3: Over-planning.
Folks who are stuck can look quite productive - with all their plans and strategies. Beware. Plans are great. Action is greater. Books don't write themselves. Businesses don't launch themselves. You've got to take the first step and keep stepping!

Habit #4: Perfectionism.
If you buy into the lie that nothing is worth doing if it's not perfect, getting stuck is guaranteed. Perfectionism is a lot of pressure. It's a set up for failure. If the only passing grade is 100%, no wonder you dread the outcome. The simple solution? Give yourself permission to be imperfect. In other words, be human. Then you'll try new things, put yourself out there, and not beat yourself up for looking silly. Find joy in the experience.

My challenge to you: Get unstuck. Drop your bad habits.

Journaling assignment:
In what area(s) of your life are you feeling stuck right now? Which of the four habits is keeping you stuck? What will you do differently right now to break that habit and get unstuck?

What Makes You Move?

Last month, we looked at what it was going to take to start making changes in your life? I hope many of you have been successful in taking small steps toward great accomplishments!

This month, I want us to consider the question - What makes you move? In other words, what causes you to get up every day and do what you do? As I've been teaching each week from The Purpose Driven Life, (it's not too late to join our online study! Lessons and audio links are available to download), we've been taking a close look at what our lives are driven by. Some people are driven by guilt from their past or anger and resentment from hurts. Some live in self-imposed prisons of fear, while others move because of their desire to acquire more. Sadly, many are driven by the need for approval from others.

It's this need to please people that gets us in trouble. Our purpose is to please God, not people! Is this something you struggle with? Is the opinions of others what drives you and motivates you to move? Is your "purpose" found in what others think and say about you? If so, think about these 5 facts.....

5 Facts: 1) You were created by God and for God. His opinion is all that matters. 2) God was thinking about and planning your life long before you were thinking about Him (Psalm 139: 13,16). 3) Real security can only be found in that which can never be taken away from you - your relationship with God. 4) Living a purpose-driven (not guilt, anger, fear, materialism or others' approval driven) life is the path to peace. 5) Without purpose, life is motion without meaning, activity without direction, and events without reason.

SHARE: Do any of these facts motivate you to live a life of purpose and peace instead of pleasing and performance? I hope you'll take some time to think about what the motives of your heart are. Share your thoughts with us - we want to be an encouragement to you and others!

Do You Know What Makes You SPECIAL? I'm excited about this new workshop! If you live in the Waterford, MI area, you're invited to join me on Monday, February 18 at Faith Church | 3411 Airport Rd at 6:30p. Space is limited, so please let me know if you're coming. Friends are welcome - just let me know how many you'll be bringing! To learn more about this workshop, visit the SPECIAL page on our website. I am available and would love to come share this life-changing event with the women of your ministry/church!

Do You Need a Kick-Start?

Just checking in to see how you're doing with developing new habits! I've enjoyed reading your responses below and there's still time to share what new habit you WILL develop in the next few weeks!

I wanted to share a few "I will...." statements that I've been posting on my Facebook page (If you're on FB, please stop by and LIKE my page!) I hope these will get you thinking. Feel free to share your favorite one:
* I will make wise choices concerning my health. 
* I will practice self-control.
* I will be bold and stand up for my faith.
* I will accept constructive criticism and learn from it!
* I will not spread gossip or listen to rumors. 
* I will choose my words wisely. 
* I will surround myself with positive influences.
* I will be known as a person of integrity.
* I will not dwell on the past but look forward to all that God wants to do in my life!
* I will boast about the grace of God, not about myself.

REMEMBER: Deciding to move toward your goal is essential to getting unstuck. Allow your frustration to kick-start you and propel you a few steps forward. By just getting yourself in motion, you’ll gain the encouragement and momentum you need to achieve that goal! - Valorie Burton


                                                              

What's It Going to Take?

Motivational Memo:
To: Women who desire to make lasting changes in their life.
From: Tonia C. Harrison, M.A.
Re: What's It Going to Take?

Have you made your New Year resolutions only to have given up already? Are you thinking of goals you want to reach in 2013 only to be discouraged? I recently read an article on making change in our life. The author stressed that we should not focus on resolutions or goals, but on developing habits instead!

Research shows that it takes at least 21 days to form a habit. Habits begin as purposeful, deliberate and conscious; but as you practice them, they move from being things you intentionally and consciously work on to eventually being unconscious, consistent and positive behaviors no matter the circumstances. Think of when you first learned how to drive. You were conscious and deliberate of everything you did - now it just comes naturally (although consciousness is still suggested!) The same is true when you begin a new habit or replace an old, not so good, one.

What's it going to take for you to desire and determine to make a new habit? Will it take a warning from your doctor before you improve your health? Your employer before you improve your work performance? Your spouse before you improve your marriage? Are you already aware of warning signs in your spiritual life, but you've been ignoring them? Is the result of your holiday spending catching up with you and causing stress? Is the relationship with family and friends not what you wish it was? Things can change - You can change!

CHALLENGE: Gradual change is lasting change. Trying to change something cold-turkey rarely works for the long term. This month we're going to decide and determine what new habit we want to create in our life! There are 2 things you need to do in the next few weeks:

1) Honestly think about what it'sgoing to take for you to dedicate yourself to change?

 2) Share with us ONE new habit you are going to develop.

It must be specific - not "get healthy" but "drink 8 glasses of water a day for 21 days" or "exercise for 10 minutes a day for the first 7 days, the add 5 minutes for the next 7 days, etc." Not "get closer to God" but "spend 10 minutes in prayer every morning" or "read a chapter from Proverbs every day"...you get the idea! I can't wait to read your responses! Please use this forum to be an encouragement and motivation to each other.

Don't Miss Your Motivational Memo....

Starting on January 7, 2013, the first issue of our monthly Motivational Memo will be published! It's designed to encourage and challenge you to reach the goals you have, discover the dream God has for you and to finally fulfill His purposes! Don't have any goals yet? Not sure what God's dream is? Still wondering about God's purpose? Don't worry - we'll help you with that. Remember, it's never too late and you're never too old to be and do what you were created for!

I'd love for you to share with me what area of your life you need the most motivation in order to be successful. Is it in the area of your faith? Your family? Your finances? Your fitness? Your friendships? Your Fun (or lack of it?) This will help me know what information you will benefit from most! Just leave a comment below.

Each month you can tell us how you're doing with the coaching challenge - right here on this page. It will keep you accountable to your comittment as well as encourage others! I look forward to seeing the progress you'll be making!

Would you like to receive the Motivational Memo directly to your inbox? Just sign up here!

Tonia