What Do I Have to Be Grateful For?

It's that time of year when we stop and think about all the things we're grateful for. In fact, I'd invite you to join me for my Alphabet Gratitude challenge on my Facebook page. It's been so much fun and an encouragement to read every one's comments on the things they are thankful for this month.

People often asked me if I have a favorite verse, passage of Scripture, etc. that has helped me over the past few months. I must say I don't have anything specific, but I do find myself reading Psalm 103 repeatedly. I'd encourage you to take a minute today and read all 22 verses here!

Verse 2 tells us not forget the good things God has done for us. You won't get very far before you'll realize just how much you have to be grateful for. Here's just a few things I have to be grateful for:

v. 3-4 | He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases. He redeems me from death and crowns me with love and tender mercies.

v. 5-6 | He fills my life with good things. My youth is renewed like the eagle’s! The LORD gives righteousness and justice to all who are treated unfairly.

v. 8-10 | The LORD is compassionate and merciful, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love. He will not constantly accuse us, nor remain angry forever. He does not punish us for all our sins; he does not deal harshly with us, as we deserve.

v. 12-14 | He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west. The LORD is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him. For he knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust.

v. 22 | Praise the LORD, everything he has created, everything in all his kingdom. Let all that I am praise the LORD.

We all have a lot to be grateful for! Some days it may take a little extra effort to see the things - great and small - but they are there. Maybe they've been camouflaged by comparisons, buried by burdens or over-looked by eyes that are focused on what we don't have, etc.

If you struggle with finding something to be grateful for - pick one or two benefits from Psalm 103 and thank God today. You'll find that once you get started, your list will start to quickly grow!

UPDATE: I apologize for not posting something sooner. It's because I've had so much energy the past few weeks, I've been working on projects around the house that I was not able to do earlier. This chemo drug, Taxol, has been much kinder to me and my body. I am not nauseous like before and have regained my appetite for the most part (not necessarily a good thing!)

I would ask for prayer as I am pretty wiped out by early evening and have not been sleeping well. I've experienced a lot of heartburn during the night :( This is just another side effect I have to adjust to for now. My last chemo is scheduled for the first week of January, 2014. At that time the spot of my liver will be evaluated to see if it can be removed by surgery before I start radiation. 

As I've said before, I am SO grateful for all your thoughts / prayers, meals, gifts, cards and kind words.

Tonia

When my husband and I attended our Chemo Class before I started treatments, we were told all the negative side effects that I would more than likely experience – mainly hair loss, fatigue and nausea.  As most of you know by now, I have indeed experienced all these and more.

But I have come to realize there are some benefits to this chemo journey. As I wrote last time, over the past 3 months, I have experienced a greater appreciation for others’ kindness, an acceptance of what I can and cannot do these days and an eye-opening awareness of God’s continual peace and constant presence.

Lack of Hair - Hair loss is a time saver. I don’t have to fool with fixing my hair every day – throw on a hat and I’m good to go! It also means no more shaving my under arms and legs. I still have my eyebrows but it also means no more plucking! I don’t know if I’ll be all that excited when it starts growing back!

Lack of Energy - For those who know me, know that I love naps! Because fatigue is a side effect, it can be used as a benefit because now I can nap whenever, wherever and how ever long I want and not feel guilty! It took some time to adjust to this, but now that I have, “a day without a nap is crap!”

Lack of Appetite - I’m not recommending chemo as a weight loss tool, but between lack of appetite from the nausea, dead taste buds and irritating mouth sores, I have managed to lose a few pounds.  I’m still working on stopping myself from eating empty calories that I can’t taste anyway,

I know these things sound silly – but I’ve learned that every situation and circumstance has two sides of looking at it. My family will often refer to me as a Debbie Downer or Negative Nancy - and yes, the glass is always half empty! These days I’m trying to see things from both angles and look for the benefits amidst the bad days. But for me seeing the positive takes extra effort – can you relate?

 I love this verse from Isaiah 43: 19: For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.  What new thing is God doing in your life that He wants you to see?  Don’t let the negative side effects of your situation or circumstances blind you from the pathways and rivers God wants to create in your wilderness/wasteland.

UPDATE:  My last round of the AC chemical was not nearly as bad as round 3 was - mostly just a lot of fatigue.  I start 12 weekly treatments of a new drug this Thursday, 10/17 and have been assured that the side effects will be less severe.   Tonia

 

No Pain...No Gain!

No pain...no gain. No battle..no victory. No contest...no winner. No challenge...no growth. None of these situations makes us feel comfortable, but without them our lives stay stagnant. We stay weak and self-centered. We moan and groan about our problems, and never learn the lessons they are meant to teach us.

Through this cancer journey, I have not experienced a lot of physical pain, mostly mental and emotional - but through it I have gained a whole lot more than an occasional down day. I have gained a new appreciation, acceptance and awareness of many things:

Appreciation...
There aren’t enough words to express our gratitude to all the people we know, and don’t know, who are praying for and supporting our family. It has been overwhelming to me to hear from people I haven’t seen or spoken to in years. Friends I went to high school with 30+ years ago have contacted me and shared their own stories of battles and victories. Friends from college,former churches and schools have reached out. Facebook “friends” I have never met are a daily encouragement. The dear women from our church who have delivered meals on days when cooking is the last thing I want to do and those who gathered together to pray and make a beautiful fleece shawl for me. Those who have used their gifts and talents to make me thoughtful gifts as reminders of their love. Then there are those friends and family who are raising money to run/walk in events this month in my honor. And of course the friends/family I’ve had throughout my life are a constant source of strength! The list is endless. I appreciate you ALL!!

I thank my God every time I remember you. - Philippians 1:3

Acceptance...
Not quite as easy as appreciation but just as important. I’ve come to accept that “for such a time as this” I can’t do all that I was used to doing. My physical strength comes and goes – so I have to plan my activities based on my chemo schedule. Like I tell people, when I feel bad, I feel bad BUT when I feel good, watch out! I’m not able to serve the women of my church as I have in the past BUT I know there is an awesome team that has stepped up to take my place. I’ve gained a new perspective of a verse I never wanted to obey until I was forced to:

Be still, and know that I am God... - Psalm 40:10a

Awareness...
Of course the biggest gain is the awareness of God’s continual peace and constant presence. There are times when I have to remind myself of this on a daily basis. There are times when I feel like I’m fighting this battle all alone (on those pity-party days!) But I was reminded today in a book a friend gave me, Grace for Each Hour, that “the battle against your cancer does not belong to you; it doesn’t even belong to your doctors. It belongs to God. It may have formed an army against you, but His Son already defeated it for you on the Cross.”

This is what the LORD says to you: ‘Do not be afraid or discouraged because
of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s.’ - 2 Chron. 20:15

Don’t let the pain of your life keep you from gaining.... a new appreciation for the people in your life,an acceptance of the things you cannot change and an awareness of WHO is fighting your battles!!

UPDATE: I enjoyed Chemo #4 yesterday - 10/3. I had quite a rough response to #3 and will be preparing for the same this time. Beginning 10/17, I will start 12 weekly treatments of a less powerful drug and I've been promised the side effects are much milder:)Thanks for your prayers. Tonia

I'm Losing More Than Just My Hair...

The inevitable was happening...my hair was starting to fall out and it was time to go wig shopping. I chose to have my head shaved and it wasn't as traumatic as I thought it would be - it's not like I had long, flowing hair to begin with. My girls had fun trying out my new hair piece! My daughter, Denae (lower right) had 10 inches of her beloved hair donated to women battling cancer :)

So what else have I been losing - maybe even more difficult than my hair?...My pride. I have always known I was a proud person (ouch!). Being self-sufficient and independent were qualities I found others admired in me. Being strong, focused and dependable were virtues I wanted people to see in me. But these are slowly being taken away.

The other day I posted a quote by Max Lucado on Facebook that I didn't really think that closely about until people started commenting on it.

"The circumstances we ask God to change are often the circumstances God is using to change us." 

I know God is using my cancer "circumstances" to change me - in ways I wasn't expecting, but were definitely necessary. One of the biggest areas is that of allowing people to pray for me. I know that must sound so arrogant - who doesn't appreciate prayer? But to a proud person, we sometimes feel we don't really need any extra intervention, we've got it covered - just me and God is enough.

I am finding that I am SO appreciative to those who tell me they are praying for me and my family...some people I don't even know personally. I was told by my doctor that this battle is so much more than physical, it's a mental battle. This is so true and so hard.

As I've said, I want to continue to be an encouragement as you join me in the journey. Maybe there's a circumstance in your life that God is keeping there in order to change you. Don't try to fight it. Accept it as His way of showing His goodness to you and His love for you.

Will you join me in praying with expectation? As some of you know, we recently found that the cancer has spread to my liver which puts me at Stage 4. My chemo treatments have been adjusted and my doctor feels that remission is in the near future. I am having a total body bone scan this Friday, 9/13 at 12 noon to see if the cancer is in my bones - and I must say, I'm feeling a little anxious.

So putting my pride aside, I am asking for your prayers. I am believing that God wants to use this "circumstance" to do more for me, in me and through me. I have been disappointed, but I can't give up on Him. He understands my weaknesses, which is why He treasures my faith so greatly. So today I am praying, waiting and expecting..... Thanks! Tonia

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. (Romans 12:12)

I Don't Like Being Squeezed!

As I begin this journey into the unknown of cancer treatment, I'm finding things I don't like. I don't like feeling so tired and lifeless. I don't like wondering how the next round of chemo will affect me differently. But, what I'm really learning is that I don't like being squeezed!

I recently read that just as there is a condition known as "post-traumatic stress", researchers are now talking about "post-traumatic growth." One line of thinking is that adversity can lead to growth. Another is that the highest levels of growth cannot be achieved without adversity.

But adversity doesn't automatically bring growth. Much of the outcome depends on how you respond to adversity. Just as you find out what's inside a tube of toothpaste when it gets squeezed, adversity reveals what you're made of. Sometimes we say, "I could never go through what that person went through." Then we go through it and realize - our heart keeps beating and our world goes on.

You don't know what you're capable of until you have to cope.

As I continue to be squeezed, I pray what comes out will be an encouragement to others. A message of hope that good and growth can come from adversity. A realization that rising to a challenge reveals hidden strengths within us that otherwise would have remained dormant.

More importantly though is that I, along with others being squeezed, recognize that the key to post-traumatic growth is in seeing God in all things, drawing close to Him when we can't understand the situation, and knowing He only has our best interests at heart.

"Can anything ever separate us from Christ's love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity....No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us."
(Romans 3: 35a,38)

My Prayer Was a Hazard to My Health!

Have you ever prayed for something, then wished you hadn't? I recently read (and highly recommend) The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson. It opened my eyes to the purpose and power of prayer. I came to realize (what I already knew in my heart) that I was tired of being a witness to other people's "only God" experiences. I wanted my own. I wanted to know that God was willing and able to prove Himself real in my own life. I wanted to experience my own miracles. So I prayed a dangerous prayer....


I prayed that God would do whatever He needed to do in my life in order for me to see... That He was real. That He was in control. Specific things He wanted me to know about Him. Things that needed to change in order for our relationship to be stronger. Things I needed to let go of. That He held my future in His hands. A "God only" experience that couldn't be explained by coincidence and that would ultimately bring Him glory.

On June 18, 2013 I was diaganosed with Stage 2 Breast Cancer. My dangerous prayer had been answered. My response was not "Why me?" but "This is really going to mess up my plans for the next six months!" Then I remembered what I had prayed. I realized this was God's way of getting me to let go of my plans and follow His. This journey is just beginning for me. I had surgery on July 1 to remove the cancerous tumor and had 20+ lymph nodes tested. Three came back positive, so I will begin chemo treatment on August 13 for the next 20 weeks.

I share all this with you, not for you to feel bad for me, but to invite you to follow this journey with me. For those who know me best, I'm not one to talk a lot about personal things in my life. But now may be the time I change that. My desire is to continue to be an encouragement to those who follow me (I hate that term) on Facebook, Twitter and my blog. Everything else has been set aside and put on hold for this "bump in the road", as my doctor calls it. I will continue to post as often as I can.

Have you ever prayed a dangerous prayer? I'd love to hear your story. Don't be afraid to. Don't settle to just be a spectator of other people's "God only" experiences.

Thanks for joining me on this new adventure! Tonia

Is Your Focus on Feelings?

God's top priority for you is more about chasing holiness than pursuing happiness!!

God desires you to turn the focus from the way you feel to what you should do. Too often, people abandon good work that pleases God - a marriage, a career, a ministry - because they don't feel like doing it anymore. They don't feel like they are in love. They don't feel fulfilled. They don't feel like they are making a difference.

If you tend to act hastily based on the way you feel, it may be time to examine the ways your emotions influence your decision-making. Ask God to arrange your actions today according to His will rather than according to your feelings.

CHALLENGE: Pray that God will give you strength to carry out His purpose in your life, even if you don't feel like doing the tasks required!

Be purpose-FULL in all you do! Tonia

(From:101 Ways to Find God's Purpose For Your Life by Natalie Gillespie)

Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.  - Helen Keller



 

WHERE are you headed?

If a young whale were to lose its sense of direction, it might end up on the dry, sandy beach.

If migrating flocks of birds were to lose their instinctive sense of direction, they might end up in harsh Alaska instead of sunny Florida.

When people lose their sense of spiritual direction, they often reach a lonely dead end - in their jobs, relationships and families.

My husband and I just returned from a weekend trip to an area of our state that we were unfamiliar with. Half way to our destination my husband realized (and slightly paniced) that he had left his GPS in our other car. He has become quite dependent on this little device to keep him headed in the right direction.Yes, our i-phones would have helped us if we needed, but my stubborness wanted to get to our friend's cabin just fine using old-fashion, hand-written directions - and that we did!

How is your sense of direction? Are you depending on your own map or are you using God's GPS in order to uncover God's purpose for your life? We can spend a lot of time following what we think is the right road and eventually find out it was leading us in a totally different path than what God had planned for us. Ask God to get your life pointed toward Him!

CHALLENGE: Picture yourself navigating an unfamiliar city without maps or directions. Imagine hitting dead end after dead end. Thank God for the direction He gives us and ask Him to lead your ways.

From 101 Ways to Find God's Purpose for Your Life by Natalie Gillespie

What's NEW with You?

As a child, do you remember the joy you felt when you tried something new and accomplished it for the first time? Whether it was as simple as learning to snap your fingers or as complex as riding a bike or tying your shoe, the joy and satisfaction felt in the first-time victories were unsurpassed!

As an adult, have you felt that thrill of discovery lately? Or have you packed your life full of the familiar and the routine? Trying something new can re-energize your life and reveal an aspect of God's unique purpose!

What have you always wanted to do but never took the first step? Don't spend your life "wishing" you had, go out and do it!!

CHALLENGE: Make time to pursue something you've always been interested in! Sign up for a class, join a group, learn something new! Then....

SHARE your exciting adventure with us here...

Uncover the Joy of You!

#2 - Uncover the Joy of You (from 101 Ways to Find God's Purpose for Your Life by Natalie Gillespie)

You are the only one who can do exactly what God Has planned for you! There is no one else just like you and God designed you for a specific purpose! Let that sink in for a minute....

Queen Esther was an orphan, and yet she was put in the right place at the right time to save a nation. Albert Einstein had behavioral problems, dyslexia, and was a poor speller, yet he formulated the theory of relativity.

Value what God has given you. Creating home-cooked meals that are nutritious is a gift. Balancing roles of employee, parent, grandparent, spouse and friend is a gift. Loving those around you is the ultimate gift.

You have talents and abilities that are uniquely yours. Uncover the joy of you and thank God for them! God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another.  - I Peter 4:10

CHALLENGE: Look at yourself in the mirror today without finding faults and flaws. Recognize and accept your uniqueness. Notice the difference when you smile! :)

Be purpose-FULL in all you do! Tonia

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You're Stronger Than You Think!

Today begins a new series of Motivational Memos -101 Ways to Find God's Purpose For Your Life by Natalie Gillespie


#1 - Discover Your Strengths

Think back to when you were a child. What were some of your favorite things to do? Did you care for injured animals, love to draw pictures or delight in playing with friends? Now think of the ways those traits manifest themselves in your life today. Do you still collect "strays" - animals or people? Do you express yourself artistically through decorating and creating? Do you love to fix broken things / people? Do you enjoy opening your home to family and friends?

God's purpose for your life can be found in the passions and dreams He gave you. Use them to the fullest by devoting time and energies to the things you already enjoy and are good at doing.

CHALLENGE: Make a list of your strengths, gifts and talents (and you DO have them!) Write down the ways you are using them in the tasks you perform daily.

Be purpose-FULL in all you do! Tonia

** Don't Miss: 40 Days to Your Best Life - A Spiritual Journey to Contentment
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Yeah, I'm NOT Qualified!

"Maybe God has called you to a task, dream, or challenge and you feel unqualified. Let me encourage you. You are unqualified—at least in some way—and that’s a very good thing. Even if you have the degree or the credentials no one makes a difference for Christ, whether it’s in medicine, ministry, business, or botany because they feel totally qualified.

God chooses the foolish things of the world to shame the wise. Those who succeed and make a difference for God are those who are willing to step out in faith even though they know they are not totally qualified. Remember this as you support those around you who are stepping out in faith—and remember this as you step out in faith.

You are unqualified—and this is a very, very good thing. It’s the very reason that Christ can be glorified through you."  - Shana Schutte  (Read the entire blog here.)

What are you being called to do that you know you're not qualified for? Are you using that as an excuse? I know right now in my own life I am waiting for God to "qualify" me for something that ONLY He can do. I look forward to the day I can share that "only God" moment with you!!

Be purpose-FULL in all you do!

Tonia

What Are You Really Worth?

This week's guest blogger is author and life-coach Holley Gerth. Thanks Holley for reminding us of our true worth!

My husband and I flip through channels and land on a reality show about a pawn shop. We’re intrigued when a woman hands over a fistful of jewels. “My grandmother left them to me,” she explains. The owners of the store begin to debate. One instantly declares they’re worthless–only glass. Another isn’t so quick to dismiss them. “Let’s call in an expert,” he says, “We’ll let him decide.”

In the next scene the expert stands over the microscope. He leans in and quickly pushes aside several of the gems. Then he pauses and beckons to the owner who wanted the evaluation. “Take a look at this,” he says. When the owner pulls back from the microscope he declares, “We’re going to change this woman’s life.”

Because that’s what happens when the worth of what you have to offer is recognized. It turns out that, yes, several of the jewels were simply glass rocks. But one was a large ruby. Until someone in authority declared the value that ruby seemed like all the rest. Now it would never be seen the same way again.

You are walking through life holding gems in your hand. They’re your strengths, gifts, and all that God has placed within you. The world will try to dismiss them. “Nothing special.” “Won’t amount to anything.” “Not good enough.” But hopefully your heart pauses and says, “Wait a minute. Let’s call in someone who can truly evaluate the worth.” That’s when Jesus enters the picture. He leans over your life and declares, “Priceless!”

And it’s not just one of the jewels. All the pieces of who you are have value.

Imagine if the owners of the pawn shop told the woman of their discovery and she said, “I’m sorry. I don’t believe you. All my life everyone I’ve met has treated this like glass. I just can’t accept that it’s a ruby. Just throw it in the trash with the others.” We’d probably jump up off the couch and holler at the TV, “Believe it! Believe it!”

And that’s what I’m hollering to your heart today, “Believe it! Believe it!” Pretty please with sugar on top dare to accept that what Jesus says about you is genuine–that you a treasure, of great worth, a woman with infinite value. No matter what anyone says. No matter what you’ve done. No matter how you feel.

It’s true.

On the show the woman stands wide-eyed for a moment and then reacts with emotion fitting to such a find: JOY. Her life has changed because her perspective is different.

It can be that way for us too.

Are you wondering about your worth today?

Then ask the One who loves you to show you what’s real.

XOXO

Holley

3 Reasons Why It's Impossible to Manage Time!

According to leadership expert, John Maxwell - "There is no such thing as time management." Let's look at why this is true...
 
1) Time cannot be chosen. Everyone gets the same number of hours and minutes every day. There are some days we could use more or less, but it's not up to us to choose.

 2) Time cannot be controlled. You can't save up time from one day to spend on the next one. Wouldn't it be nice if we could store up time to be used on those days when we need an extra hour or two? Unfortunately, it's not an option.

 3) Time cannot be created. You can't add to it. As much as people talk about "finding time", there isn't any extra laying around! 24 hours is the best any of us get!

So what can you manage and control? Yourself! Nothing separates purpose-full people from stress-full people more than how they "use" their time. They understand that time is the most valuable thing they own - they don't waste it, squander it or let it slip away!  

How can you better manage yourself? By eliminating "time thieves"  - things/people/activities that have no lasting impact on your life and the lives of others. Think about your schedule today. What does it contain that, if it wasn't accomplished, would not really matter in the BIG scheme of things? Often we think that everything we have to do is urgent and imperative, but in fact, it's just a distraction from what's really most important.

Share with us a "time thief" you've encountered, in the past or present. Did you and/or are you willing to let it go - to eliminate it? Remember, we all have the same amount of time each day. We can't choose it, control it or create it. But we can manage and control ourselves.

Be Purpose-FULL in all you do!
Tonia

Is "No" a Bad Word?

Our last Memo looked at the source of what occupies our time, energy and focus. We learned that we must be pro-active in identifying these things. Ignorance is not bliss when it comes to the priorities of the Enemy!

Today's memo gives you a solution to a very common distraction. Do you struggle with saying "no"- even to good things? Here's great advice from life-coach, Kim Avery as she shares some firm and polite ways to say no!

"To fulfill your God-given design you will need to make wise choices, God’s choices. This will require saying ‘no’ to a lot of other people and things. Below are 10 different ways to say ‘no’ to the agenda and/or urgencies of others so you can say ‘yes’ to God:

1) I'm sorry but that won't fit into my schedule at this time.

2) It sounds like a great idea but someone else would be better suited for the job.

3) I know many people are fine with that, but it isn't what God is calling me to do.

4) This is not the right time (or season of life) for me to say yes.

5) I realize I have done that in the past, but I'm not able to do it anymore.

6) If I had known earlier I might have been able to make it work.

7) I really feel like the person who thought of that idea (or caused that problem!) would be the person who should take care of it.

8) It would be more appropriate for you to take that on yourself.

9) I make a point of not discussing personal information with others.

10) No.

The last answer is the absolute best answer. Why? Because it is true, straightforward and keeps us out of the "explaining" mode. The more we explain our "no," the more people come upthe more people come up with reasons why our explanation isn't good enough. This puts us on the defensive and can ultimately lead to giving in."

CHALLENGE: Choose one of the ways of saying "no" listed above and share with us how you plan to start using it! As a thank-you for leaving a comment, you'll be entered to win a copy of the, Building a Better Life, Not Just a Busier One workbook! The winner will be announced in the May 6 Motivational Memo. Click on the workbook to learn more....

 

What's Distracting You Today?

Do you often feel distracted by all the things and obligations you have to fulfill? Do you question whether all the craziness that describes your life is really all there is?

Last month we looked at the activities on our schedule and evaluated if they were mostly temporary valued things or had a lasting impact on ours and the lives of others. What did yours show?

This month we move to educating ourselves on the distractions - the source of the things that occupy our time, energy and focus. We must be pro-active in identifying these things. Ignorance is not bliss in this situation.

John 10:10a tells us that the Thief comes only to do three things: steal, kill and destroy.

1) Steal our time and energy. He knows if he can keep us busy and consumed with the temporary valued things in our life we won't have time or energy to devote to eternal valued activities.

2) Kill our hopes and dreams. When we are stressed-out and over-committed, the last thing we think about and have time for is pursuing our God-given dreams. Nothing pleases the enemy more than seeing a person let their dreams die because they don't have time to fulfill them.

3) Destroy our relationship with God, others and ourself. Even if he can't destroy the relationship completely, he'll do whatever he can to distract you from it.

Busyness, stress, out of control activities and an over-booked schedule are his main distractions! It's how he steals our time and energy, kills our hopes and dreams and destroys relationships.Don't allow the enemy the victory today. Recognize your distractions as what they are and whom they are from.

Next time we'll look at the solutions to our distractions. In the mean time, please share with us some of the most common ways you are distracted.

Here's a few ideas to get you thinking:Too much time watching TV. Hours spent on the computer  playing games, social networking, etc. Sleep or lack of sleep. Reading other books instead of the Bible. Work. Shopping. Eating. Other people's urgencies...the list is endless!

SPECIAL GIVEAWAY...as a thank-you for just leaving a comment, someone will win a copy of my e-workbook - Building a Better Life, Not Just a Busier One! You'll learn the 3 Steps to to Living a Purpose-full Life, Not Just a Busier, Stress-full One! As a bonus, the workbook also includes the first chapter of the study, Designed with Your Purpose in Mind!
(I'll announce the winner in 2 weeks..so don't get distracted, leave your comment now!)

Are You Having Trouble Focusing?

It's mid-March! How have you been doing with evaluating who and what are number one in your life? Today, I want to share another great blog from life-coach, Valorie Burton on 5 Steps to Stop Being Scattered and Start Being Focused:
"Are you all over the place when it comes to the projects and tasks you have to complete? Do you feel scattered at times? Perhaps you have multiple good ideas, but have difficulty implementing them. The ability to focus is one of the most powerful skills you can develop. You will enjoy the benefits of faster results, higher creativity, more leisure time, and a powerful sense of self-discipline.
1. DECIDE WHAT'S MOST IMPORTANT.
Many people get tripped up in reaching their goals because they spend their time on the things that really are not that important. Choose one priority for each of the five key areas of your life - relationships, work, finances, health and spiritual life. Be willing to focus your efforts on just one priority in each area.
2. SET YOUR INTENTION.
To achieve anything, you must commit to it. Embrace your priorities and then orient your life around them. That could mean dropping certain activities or old goals from your to-do list. Setting your intention means being held accountable for it. Sharing it with someone will often deepen your commitment.
3. DON'T BE LURED BY DISTRACTIONS.
There is always something else that "needs" to be done. Once you decide what’s most important, block out set periods of time when you refuse to do anything else but the task at hand. ln order to succeed, you must stop focusing on distractions and start focusing on your true priorities.
4. GET DOWN TO BUSINESS.
It is tempting to allow planning and daydreaming to cloud out the actual work of moving towards a goal. Planning is important, but the plan only becomes reality when you take action! Until you focus on actually doing the steps necessary to accomplish your goals, you will be burdened with the tension of what you should be doing but aren't.
5. ONCE YOU COMPLETE A PROJECT…...
reflect, celebrate, then look to the next step. Go back to step 1 above and ask, "Now that I have focused and accomplished this goal, what is the next step to bring my vision to life?" Decide what's most important, set your intention, block your distractions and get down to business!
CHALLENGE:
Identify the distractions that tend to lure you away from your priorities. Make a decision about how you could handle your distractions at a time other than the time you commit to focus on your true goals." Valorie Burton (April 13, 2008)

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Who's Number One?

As March Madness gets underway, those who are college basketball fans often wonder who will be number one when it's all said and done! Today starts a 3-part series from my workbook, Building a Better Life, Not Just a Busier One! We will begin by asking, Who is Number One in Your Life? Do your words match up with your actions? Do you say you value one thing and then do another? The Bible tells us in Haggai 1:5 to “Give careful thoughts to your ways.” We say we value one thing, but our priorities say another. Our values and priorities are reflected in how we use our resources – time, money, strength and talent. We say God is number one, but then we relegate Him to a lesser number on our “to-do” lists. We say others and our relationships are important to us, but we make no time for them. We say we value our health, but continue to make poor choices. We say we value our own well-being, but do nothing to strengthen our own spiritual, emotional and physical lives.

* Step One to clearing up this confusion about misplaced priorities: EVALUATE

We all have things in our day that must be done. I call these our “everyday essentials”. But what about all the extra stuff we try to cram into our lives? Sometimes we need to step back and evaluate what we are doing and why we are doing it? Is there something you’ve committed to that’s causing tension in your family/relationships? Are you devoting too much time and money doing something you don’t really enjoy, but were pressured into? Are there things you’d like to be involved in, but don’t have any extra time to do?

Ask yourself: “Is my schedule full of temporary or eternal valued activities?” Do the hours I spend watching television, playing video/computer/online games, shopping, talking on the phone/texting, social-networking, etc. have any kind of lasting, positive impact on others? (There are some women who spend so much time doing these things, they don’t have time to meet the needs of their family and unfortunately, that is creating a lasting impact, just not a positive one!)

On the other hand, eternal valued activities don’t have to be major things. It’s simply making sure you’re investing time in and making a lasting, positive impact on the lives of others. It could be by just giving someone your undivided attention (which requires all phones to be turned off!). Showing someone you care by doing something as small as sending a card of encouragement. (Remember these? They're made of paper and involve a hand-written message!)

Challenge: Evaluate who or what is taking the number one spot in your life. Try incorporating an eternal valued activity in your day and see how you feel! Let us know what you did and encourage others.

Until next time, be purpose-full in all you do! ~ Tonia

SPECIAL OFFER - Download the Building a Better Life, Not Just a Busier One! e-workbook for just $5.00 and receive the first chapter of my study, Designed with Your Purpose in Mind Click on the workbook to order.

4 Common Habits That Keep You Stuck!

Guest blog by life coach, Valorie Burton. Check out her website to learn more about her and her ministry.

4 Common Habits That Keep You Stuck!

Dear Friend,

The irony is, I got stuck trying to write this column about getting unstuck. Then I looked at my five-point outline and realized I was engaging in habit #4: Perfectionism. The tape playing in my head yelled as I stared at the blank screen: "You can't start typing words until you figured out exactly how to say what you want to say!" Then I remembered the mantra that gets me writing: "You have permission to write badly. You can edit later."

Getting unstuck is the most common issue around which I've coached others. Whether they are stuck trying to figure out how to have a difficult conversation, making a life-changing decision, or just can't figure out why they are paralyzed, getting unstuck can be challenging. To move towards their dream, there are four common habits I've observed. Next time you're stuck (and maybe you feel stuck right now!), do a quick reality check. Are you guilty of one of these bad habits? If so, take action. Here are the four habits and how to break them:

Habit #1: Obsession with your obstacles.
People who get stuck tend to stare at the problem right in front of them and forget to look up at the big picture of where they really want to go. The solution? Stop focusing on the problem, and start focusing on the solution. Don't just notice what's wrong. Begin magnifying what's right. And ask yourself, how can I use what's right to overcome what's wrong? Use your strengths.

Habit #2: Sabotaging Self-Talk.
The conversation of stuckness goes something like this: "I'm stuck." "I can't." "I'll never." You create what you speak. "Life and death are in the power of the tongue," Proverbs 29:18 promises this.What have you been saying about you? Replace losing language with winning words: "I can do something different." "I will take a step forward despite my fear." "I am capable of change."

Habit #3: Over-planning.
Folks who are stuck can look quite productive - with all their plans and strategies. Beware. Plans are great. Action is greater. Books don't write themselves. Businesses don't launch themselves. You've got to take the first step and keep stepping!

Habit #4: Perfectionism.
If you buy into the lie that nothing is worth doing if it's not perfect, getting stuck is guaranteed. Perfectionism is a lot of pressure. It's a set up for failure. If the only passing grade is 100%, no wonder you dread the outcome. The simple solution? Give yourself permission to be imperfect. In other words, be human. Then you'll try new things, put yourself out there, and not beat yourself up for looking silly. Find joy in the experience.

My challenge to you: Get unstuck. Drop your bad habits.

Journaling assignment:
In what area(s) of your life are you feeling stuck right now? Which of the four habits is keeping you stuck? What will you do differently right now to break that habit and get unstuck?

What Makes You Move?

Last month, we looked at what it was going to take to start making changes in your life? I hope many of you have been successful in taking small steps toward great accomplishments!

This month, I want us to consider the question - What makes you move? In other words, what causes you to get up every day and do what you do? As I've been teaching each week from The Purpose Driven Life, (it's not too late to join our online study! Lessons and audio links are available to download), we've been taking a close look at what our lives are driven by. Some people are driven by guilt from their past or anger and resentment from hurts. Some live in self-imposed prisons of fear, while others move because of their desire to acquire more. Sadly, many are driven by the need for approval from others.

It's this need to please people that gets us in trouble. Our purpose is to please God, not people! Is this something you struggle with? Is the opinions of others what drives you and motivates you to move? Is your "purpose" found in what others think and say about you? If so, think about these 5 facts.....

5 Facts: 1) You were created by God and for God. His opinion is all that matters. 2) God was thinking about and planning your life long before you were thinking about Him (Psalm 139: 13,16). 3) Real security can only be found in that which can never be taken away from you - your relationship with God. 4) Living a purpose-driven (not guilt, anger, fear, materialism or others' approval driven) life is the path to peace. 5) Without purpose, life is motion without meaning, activity without direction, and events without reason.

SHARE: Do any of these facts motivate you to live a life of purpose and peace instead of pleasing and performance? I hope you'll take some time to think about what the motives of your heart are. Share your thoughts with us - we want to be an encouragement to you and others!

Do You Know What Makes You SPECIAL? I'm excited about this new workshop! If you live in the Waterford, MI area, you're invited to join me on Monday, February 18 at Faith Church | 3411 Airport Rd at 6:30p. Space is limited, so please let me know if you're coming. Friends are welcome - just let me know how many you'll be bringing! To learn more about this workshop, visit the SPECIAL page on our website. I am available and would love to come share this life-changing event with the women of your ministry/church!

Do You Need a Kick-Start?

Just checking in to see how you're doing with developing new habits! I've enjoyed reading your responses below and there's still time to share what new habit you WILL develop in the next few weeks!

I wanted to share a few "I will...." statements that I've been posting on my Facebook page (If you're on FB, please stop by and LIKE my page!) I hope these will get you thinking. Feel free to share your favorite one:
* I will make wise choices concerning my health. 
* I will practice self-control.
* I will be bold and stand up for my faith.
* I will accept constructive criticism and learn from it!
* I will not spread gossip or listen to rumors. 
* I will choose my words wisely. 
* I will surround myself with positive influences.
* I will be known as a person of integrity.
* I will not dwell on the past but look forward to all that God wants to do in my life!
* I will boast about the grace of God, not about myself.

REMEMBER: Deciding to move toward your goal is essential to getting unstuck. Allow your frustration to kick-start you and propel you a few steps forward. By just getting yourself in motion, you’ll gain the encouragement and momentum you need to achieve that goal! - Valorie Burton


                                                              

What's It Going to Take?

Motivational Memo:
To: Women who desire to make lasting changes in their life.
From: Tonia C. Harrison, M.A.
Re: What's It Going to Take?

Have you made your New Year resolutions only to have given up already? Are you thinking of goals you want to reach in 2013 only to be discouraged? I recently read an article on making change in our life. The author stressed that we should not focus on resolutions or goals, but on developing habits instead!

Research shows that it takes at least 21 days to form a habit. Habits begin as purposeful, deliberate and conscious; but as you practice them, they move from being things you intentionally and consciously work on to eventually being unconscious, consistent and positive behaviors no matter the circumstances. Think of when you first learned how to drive. You were conscious and deliberate of everything you did - now it just comes naturally (although consciousness is still suggested!) The same is true when you begin a new habit or replace an old, not so good, one.

What's it going to take for you to desire and determine to make a new habit? Will it take a warning from your doctor before you improve your health? Your employer before you improve your work performance? Your spouse before you improve your marriage? Are you already aware of warning signs in your spiritual life, but you've been ignoring them? Is the result of your holiday spending catching up with you and causing stress? Is the relationship with family and friends not what you wish it was? Things can change - You can change!

CHALLENGE: Gradual change is lasting change. Trying to change something cold-turkey rarely works for the long term. This month we're going to decide and determine what new habit we want to create in our life! There are 2 things you need to do in the next few weeks:

1) Honestly think about what it'sgoing to take for you to dedicate yourself to change?

 2) Share with us ONE new habit you are going to develop.

It must be specific - not "get healthy" but "drink 8 glasses of water a day for 21 days" or "exercise for 10 minutes a day for the first 7 days, the add 5 minutes for the next 7 days, etc." Not "get closer to God" but "spend 10 minutes in prayer every morning" or "read a chapter from Proverbs every day"...you get the idea! I can't wait to read your responses! Please use this forum to be an encouragement and motivation to each other.